I sat at the same table I was at the day before, ordered the same thing, and waited.And, of course, he didn't come. With each second that ticked, each minute that passed, the emptiness inside me grew and filled. When I had finished my salad, I stole back into a private stall in the ladies' room, lifted my skirt, and slid my hand inside the scoop-necked blouse. I cried, and masturbated, trying to remember my fantasies from the night before, unable to see his face above me, unable to feel his cock inside me.I finally came, and with the infusion of endorphins, I collected myself. I washed my hands and fixed my makeup, paid, and left the restaurant, vowing never to return.That night I flipped through my scrapbooks of a happier time. When I had thought I was in love, and he was in love with me. A time when I was excited about my new career, and we talked about settling down, buying a house and having children. The pictures ended far before the relationship did, before the reality hit home. The whole team loved you as we traveled about,no malfunctions nor anything to pout.Remember that time we went someplace classified?Working for the Bear where we damn near died?You were strapped on my MOLLE vest along with my gear,but now you're home and stopped working I fear.With earbuds in or those glasses to watch...those pornos we uploaded into those movie slots.I've watched a lot of pornos on that little, teeny screen,and strapped you in that Pelican case that I painted tan & green.From New York to London then Paris to Rome,you kept me entertained when I was far from home.I kept you pristine in a protective case,you were beloved like a priceless Ming vase.I downloaded Farsi lessons in the weekly podcast,and played you with my iHome when I was getting some ass.Remember those days out in Kandahar?When I was in the hospital instead of a bar?We were separated after the IED attack.You were in the gun truck strapped onto my pack.I caught shrapnel to my leg, chest and cheek.Those were.
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